When I first spoke with Dr. BJ Miller, I felt the weight of his experiences transform into something unexpectedly hopeful. BJ is a palliative care physician and he’s also a storyteller of life’s hardest truths, a triple amputee who turned personal tragedy into a mission to redefine how we approach suffering, dignity, and mortality. Years ago, I watched BJ Miller’s TED Talk on What Really Matters at the End of Life, I was struck by his bold challenge to healthcare’s design—how it was built around diseases rather than people. He spoke with a clarity that cut through the clinical detachment of modern medicine, emphasizing that suffering is not just something to be erased but an intrinsic part of being human. He invited us to see death and illness not as failures, but as a natural, even a meaningful, parts of life.

When my husband, Dan Rosenman, died suddenly of a heart attack while mountain biking 11 years ago, BJ’s words became a lifeline. His reflection on the difference between necessary and unnecessary suffering helped me shift my perspective: rather than trying to “fix” my grief, I learned to live alongside it and open my eyes to see the beauty of grief. That’s why I invited him here—to share how we might reshape our approach to life’s most difficult realities with creativity, presence, and compassion.

Known globally for that groundbreaking talk, he co-founded Mettle Health, a telehealth service providing support for patients and caregivers. His journey began with a life-altering accident at Princeton, where he lost three limbs—an event that reshaped his understanding of vulnerability and resilience. Through his work at UCSF, the Zen Hospice Project, and now Mettle Health, he has challenged medicine to prioritize humanity over cure rates, integrating art, spirituality, and raw honesty into care.

Do you have thoughts on this episode or suggestions for future guests? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at hello@rosenmaninstitute.org.